Actual tears. Actual crying. Actual sadness.
I cried.
I got on the scale. I gained 1.2 pounds. I don’t want to even admit it but I’m being honest. Plus, it’s weigh-in day for the Healthy You Challenge.
So, I got on. I cried.
I’m frustrated this week. I’m irritated.
I’m also not feeling good. I woke up this morning with cramps. Bad cramps. It’s not that time of month so I shouldn’t have cramps (although I didn’t have cramps when it WAS my TOM so I guess it’s payback).
I had more sodium yesterday than normal. So, that’s probably it. I hope. It’s been a tough week with my dad here and now my mom arrived. So, I wasn’t expecting HUGE losses but the gain really hurt.
A lot.
So, I cried. And, I am forcing myself to eat because I want to not eat anything today. I want to go crawl back in bed.
And cry.
But, I won’t. I’m making better food choices (had my assistant go pick me up something that’s a better choice than the leftovers from last nights dinner that are in the fridge because I need to be prepared for dinner tonight).
Plus, I’m accepting that they leave on Tuesday and I just need to get through until then.
I might cry again, though.
ETA — I’m not blaming them for my poor choices. Heck, I snapped at my mom on Sunday because she was blaming my dad for her laziness lately. But, they really are not supportive AT ALL and days of the non-support have worn on me. Plus, they can’t exercise with me so it’s either do it after I drop them off or don’t do it. Last night I got home at 9:30PM and didn’t feel like going out for a walk in the dark. Yes, I could have done something else but I didn’t. That’s all me.
01 July 2009, 5:29 PM
(((hugs))) this is a very hard, emotional process with difficult moments along the way. Just remember all things change and turn around and this will be over soon.
You have been SO STRONG! You’re going through what sounds like the first really intense challenge to your new lifestyle, and while you’re not perfect you’re keeping with it and refusing to give up. That makes you a winner!
Next time trials come along you will be more prepared. You will be even stronger. You will get through it with the same determination you are getting through this with.
Hang in there and look at all the great things you have learned and accomplished during a difficult time. I am proud of you!
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